Liverpool FC Forum

[dawson99]

..had gotten into ballet and had brought a brand new purple tu-tu which he wore when he went shopping. On one particular shopping trip in his tu-tu he was at the check out when he saw that someone familiar was serving him, that person being...

[Lando_Griffin]

...His boyfriend, St Mike, alias Julian Clarey.

Julian walked over to Babu and simply turned his eyes skyward. Babu knew their relationship had come to an end.
He discarded his tutu, and boned the girls of Tatu to take his mind off his loss.
Then he smiled a little smile intended for nobody imparticular:

He was free. Free from the villainous claws of his overbearing bum-bandit boyfriend.

Liberated, Babu went to the chemist to get some Anusol to try and  shrink his butt-hole (well - it works on piles, he thought), and...

[Judge]

amazingly it worked on the part he wanted it to work on, but then......

[Lando_Griffin]

...he realised he had smudged some of it onto his knob and balls.

Babu gulped in fear.

His knackers shrunk to the size of ball-bearings, yet his penis stayed the same 3 cms it had always been. He felt lucky, and...

[Judge]

decided to stay out of the fridge, as he doesnt like a cold turtles head, especially if the birds are around.............

[thegreedo]

.....as they tend to peck at it believing it to be a stray acorn.

Babu didn't let all this worry him however, he was comforted by the knowledge his financial future was secure, he planned to release a DVD of his romps with the lesbian pop duo entitled "Tatu's Tutu'd Gimp Fest" before stalking more one hit wonder pop acts.

Bubu plonked himself in front of his PC, he wanted to contact the entire line up of Cornershop in order to arrange a gang bang as he knew Babylon Zoo were touring and would be unavailable. Babu then heard a bleep, it was his inbox alerting him of a new message. This surprised Bubu,what with having no friends he wasn't used to this level of attention, exitedly he opened the mail, his face suddenly drained of all colour as he saw it had been sent by.........

[Lando_Griffin]

....His Mother!

"Damn!" He exclaimed.

Babu hastily packed an overnight bag and raced around to his Mother's house, almost in a trance.
Babu pulled up on his Mother's drive, with absolutely no recollection of the journey. His mind was on other things, he reassured himself.

He was right. Babu was in BIG trouble. In all the melee, he had forgotton one thing he dare not.
He was late for dinner.

Babu sculked upto the front door and hesitantly lifted the great-big, f*ck-off knocker:

[Judge]

but only realised that the knocker he was thumping was indeed a dream, and woke up ti find he was grabbing his mums knocker (in an oedipus way), just then.....................

[Lando_Griffin]

...she tw*tted him on the head with a meat-cleaver, causing severe blood loss.

"Ouch!", Babu yelped. "What did you do that for, you stupid bitch!?!"

"Because you're a dirty little b*stard who's always thinking about sex. You know I'm not your real mum. I'm really your Aunty, and the vigorous sex-sessions we had when you were 16 cannot resume today!"

"You f*cker!", said a dejected Babu.

"I...

[Judge]

i'll (babu) have a wank, while you boil an egg. His aunt replied ''are you doing it twice'', to which babu went red faced..........................

[Lando_Griffin]

..."No." He said sullenly. "I'll have to do it 3 times, otherwise my egg won't be cooked."
"You useless b*stard", Loretta (his Aunty) retorted, frustrated.

"Are you sure I can't bone you, Lori?" Enquired Babu.

"No, you dirty little weasel. Go and f*ck your bad Uncle Bob instead. He likes it up the botty." She replied.

"OK" said Babs, and he went off to find him...

[Judge]

bad bob, his uncle for a blue oyster club time.

Meanwhile the greedo entered the area, along with anti-hero, worksafe rafadodd, and stmike.....

[Judge]

who were shouting something very terrible indeed.....especially mouth piece greedo

[Lando_Griffin]

"Oi! You rapscallion!" Greedo expelled. "Get off my lawn, you vaigrant".

Judge jumped up with a start and immediately returned to the pavement, like a scolded child.

"SOrry Mister", replied Judge. "I was only fetching my ball.

"OK then, you dirty little rascal - off you go before I give your bottom a pounding the likes of which has ne'er been seen before."

"Alright, you sick b*stard. I'll be back in 5!" shouted Judge as he ran home to fetch the Vaseline.

Anti-hero...

[anti-hero]

was lazing about in his huge mansion when he heard a loud, furious rapping at the door.

"Carmen dear. Will you get the door?"

Carmen Elektra, dressed in a skimpy little maid's uniform walked to the door and opened it to reveal a sweaty Judge with bewildered eyes, demanding to speak to Anti-Hero.

"Dear! ..  There's a .. thing at the door wanting to talk to you."

Anti-Hero got off his expensive leather couch and walked over to them.

"What do you want Judge...?"

"Vaseline."

"Why the fuck for?"

"Look. You dont have to know."

"Ok. Forget it. I don't want to know."

"Please.. I need it NOW."

Anti-Hero looked at Judge.

"Alright. Denise dear!"

Denise Richard and a bevy of beauties walks out of nowhere carrying a huge jar of vaseline.

"Is it time again.. sir?" she said, with a naughty smile on her face.

"Not now unfortunately. You shall have to entertain yourselves for awhile. But just give me the vaseline. I have a .. friend who is in desperate need of some."

"Ok.." She gave Anti-Hero the jar and a sweet parting kiss before she walked away.. hand in hand with one of the fine ladies..

"Here you go Judge." As he shoved the jar unceremoniously into Judge's arms.

"Thank you sir."

"Get off my lawn."

Judge then ran back to where Greedo was and..