by Roger Red Hat » Thu Nov 13, 2008 10:39 am
I know this probably doesnt help ya but I thought i'd put these in here...
Customer: I'm trying to connect to the Internet with your CD, but it just doesn't work. What am I doing wrong?
Tech support: OK, you've got the CD in the CD drive, right?
Customer: Yeah....
Tech support: And what sort of computer are you using?
Customer: Computer? Oh no, I haven't got a computer. It's in the CD player and all I get is weird noises. Listen...
Tech support: Aaaarrrrgggghhhh!!!
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Employee: Hi, I have a problem, I can't get my diskette out.
Tech support: Have you tried pushing the button?
Employee: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
Tech support: That doesn't sound so good, I'll come over straight away...
Employee: No .. wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... sorry...
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Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.
Employee: Your left or my left?
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Employee: I have problems printing in red...
Tech support: Do you have a colour printer?
Employee: Aaaah....................thank you.
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Customer: I can't get on the Internet.
Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars.
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A woman customer called the Hewlett Packard help desk with a problem with her printer.
Tech support: Are you running it under windows?
Customer: "No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine."
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Tech support: "Okay, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."
Employee: I don't have a P.
Tech support: On your keyboard...
Employee: What do you mean?
Tech support: "P".....on your keyboard.
Employee: URGHHH! I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!
Sex, drugs and sausage rolls!