Judge was this you

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Postby Ciggy » Fri Nov 16, 2007 3:19 pm

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/scotland/glasgow_and_west/7095134.stm
Bike sex man placed on probation

A man caught trying to have sex with his bicycle has been sentenced to three years on probation.

Robert Stewart, 51, admitted a sexually aggravated breach of the peace by conducting himself in a disorderly manner and simulating sex.

Sheriff Colin Miller also placed Stewart on the Sex Offenders Register for three years.

Mr Stewart was caught in the act with his bicycle by cleaners in his bedroom at the Aberley House Hostel in Ayr.

Gail Davidson, prosecuting, told Ayr Sheriff Court: "They knocked on the door several times and there was no reply.

"They used a master key to unlock the door and they then observed the accused wearing only a white t-shirt, naked from the waist down.

"The accused was holding the bike and moving his hips back and forth as if to simulate sex."

Both cleaners, who were "extremely shocked", told the hostel manager who called police.

Sheriff Colin Miller told Stewart: "In almost four decades in the law I thought I had come across every perversion known to mankind, but this is a new one on me. I have never heard of a 'cycle-sexualist'."

Stewart had denied the offence, claiming it was caused by a misunderstanding after he had too much to drink.

The bachelor had been living in the hostel since October 2006 after moving from his council house in Girvan.

He now lives in Ayr.

:D
There is no-one anywhere in the world at any stage who is any bigger or any better than this football club.

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REST IN PEACE PHIL, YOU WILL NEVER BE FORGOTTEN.
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Postby dawson99 » Fri Nov 16, 2007 3:22 pm

thats harsh ciggs!!!!


i thought THIS was judge:

An Indian man has "married" a female dog, hoping the move will help atone for stoning two other dogs to death.
P Selvakumar, 33, said he had been cursed since the killings, suffering paralysis and a loss of hearing.

The wedding took place at a Hindu temple in Tamil Nadu state. The "bride" wore an orange sari with a flower garland and was fed a bun to celebrate.

Superstitious people in rural India sometimes organise weddings to animals in the hope of warding off curses.

'Tried every cure'

Crowds cheered the newly-weds at the end of the ceremony in Sivaganga district, about 50km (30 miles) east of the city of Madurai.

The "bride", who is called Selvi, was led to the temple in Manamudurai wearing a sari before vows were exchanged in a traditional Hindu ceremony.

A relative of the groom who attended the wedding said he hoped Mr Selvakumar would now be cured.

"Fifteen years back Selvakumar was physically fit. But, once he attacked a pair of dogs and thereafter Kumar could not move his limbs freely," the relative, Ramu, told the BBC.

"He tried every cure for his ailment but could not be rid of his disability.

"On the advice of an astrologer and others, he decided to marry a bitch to get cured. Then we arranged Selvakumar's marriage with a bitch."
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Postby babu » Fri Nov 16, 2007 3:26 pm

Ciggy wrote:http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/scotland/glasgow_and_west/7095134.stm
Bike sex man placed on probation

A man caught trying to have sex with his bicycle has been sentenced to three years on probation.

Robert Stewart, 51, admitted a sexually aggravated breach of the peace by conducting himself in a disorderly manner and simulating sex.

Sheriff Colin Miller also placed Stewart on the Sex Offenders Register for three years.

Mr Stewart was caught in the act with his bicycle by cleaners in his bedroom at the Aberley House Hostel in Ayr.

Gail Davidson, prosecuting, told Ayr Sheriff Court: "They knocked on the door several times and there was no reply.

"They used a master key to unlock the door and they then observed the accused wearing only a white t-shirt, naked from the waist down.

"The accused was holding the bike and moving his hips back and forth as if to simulate sex."

Both cleaners, who were "extremely shocked", told the hostel manager who called police.

Sheriff Colin Miller told Stewart: "In almost four decades in the law I thought I had come across every perversion known to mankind, but this is a new one on me. I have never heard of a 'cycle-sexualist'."

Stewart had denied the offence, claiming it was caused by a misunderstanding after he had too much to drink.

The bachelor had been living in the hostel since October 2006 after moving from his council house in Girvan.

He now lives in Ayr.

:D

:angry:  damn if you can't make sweet love to your own bike, in the privacy of your own bedroom..... what's the world coming too?  :veryangry







:wwww
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Postby Ciggy » Fri Nov 16, 2007 3:26 pm

dawson99 wrote:thats harsh ciggs!!!!


i thought THIS was judge:

An Indian man has "married" a female dog, hoping the move will help atone for stoning two other dogs to death.
P Selvakumar, 33, said he had been cursed since the killings, suffering paralysis and a loss of hearing.

The wedding took place at a Hindu temple in Tamil Nadu state. The "bride" wore an orange sari with a flower garland and was fed a bun to celebrate.

Superstitious people in rural India sometimes organise weddings to animals in the hope of warding off curses.

'Tried every cure'

Crowds cheered the newly-weds at the end of the ceremony in Sivaganga district, about 50km (30 miles) east of the city of Madurai.

The "bride", who is called Selvi, was led to the temple in Manamudurai wearing a sari before vows were exchanged in a traditional Hindu ceremony.

A relative of the groom who attended the wedding said he hoped Mr Selvakumar would now be cured.

"Fifteen years back Selvakumar was physically fit. But, once he attacked a pair of dogs and thereafter Kumar could not move his limbs freely," the relative, Ramu, told the BBC.

"He tried every cure for his ailment but could not be rid of his disability.

"On the advice of an astrologer and others, he decided to marry a bitch to get cured. Then we arranged Selvakumar's marriage with a bitch."

Oh he will go balistic the dogs having an affair  :D

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REST IN PEACE PHIL, YOU WILL NEVER BE FORGOTTEN.
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Postby burjennio » Fri Nov 16, 2007 3:48 pm

my saturday nights seem to end in a similar way to that dog, only without the sex
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Postby Ciggy » Fri Nov 16, 2007 3:49 pm

burjennio wrote:my saturday nights seem to end in a similar way to that dog, only without the sex

:D  Mine aswell :D
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REST IN PEACE PHIL, YOU WILL NEVER BE FORGOTTEN.
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Postby dawson99 » Fri Nov 16, 2007 3:50 pm

which dog? :D
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Postby burjennio » Fri Nov 16, 2007 3:52 pm

dawson99 Posted on Nov. 16 2007,14:50
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
which dog? 


Depends how much Ive had to drink  :oops:
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Postby Judge » Fri Nov 16, 2007 4:01 pm

im neither indian, or can ride a bike :D
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Postby account deleted by request » Fri Nov 16, 2007 4:06 pm

Judge wrote:im neither indian, or can ride a bike :D

Perhaps you didn't ride it just mounted it, maybe it was a mounting bike  :D
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Postby Ciggy » Fri Nov 16, 2007 4:07 pm

Judge wrote:im an indian, and I luv to have sex with my bike :D

:no  To much information there Al  :oops:
There is no-one anywhere in the world at any stage who is any bigger or any better than this football club.

Kenny Dalglish 1/2/2011

REST IN PEACE PHIL, YOU WILL NEVER BE FORGOTTEN.
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Postby dawson99 » Fri Nov 16, 2007 4:07 pm

s@int wrote:
Judge wrote:im neither indian, or can ride a bike :D

Perhaps you didn't ride it just mounted it, maybe it was a mounting bike  :D

:bowdown  :wwww
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Postby jonnymac1979 » Fri Nov 16, 2007 4:10 pm

That animation's a belter!!!! :D :laugh: :D
jonnymac1979
 

Postby Judge » Fri Nov 16, 2007 4:11 pm

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dawson

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ciggy

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s@int is under there somewhere, c'mon ciggy get off him

:D
Last edited by Judge on Fri Nov 16, 2007 4:23 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby dawson99 » Fri Nov 16, 2007 4:20 pm

how did u know my nickname was frontbutt? :D
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