Liverpool FC Forum

by **gaz31** » Tue Jul 08, 2003 1:52 am

I WILL START.
DID U KNOW THAT ALL THE IRAQIE WOMEN HAVE SHAVED THEIR PUBIC HAIR OFF??

ITS AN ANTI BUSH CAMPAIGN..........LOL LOL LOL

by **gaz31** » Fri Jul 18, 2003 11:32 pm

YOU BORING BARSTUARDS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

by **supersub** » Sat Jul 19, 2003 12:14 am

Gaz it's been 10 days since you posted for jokes and you were the first to reply.Know thats funny!I'm s##t at jokes so I never tell them.

by **sangy** » Sat Jul 19, 2003 8:10 pm

i has some but u kno wot the pillock i am i forgotten them all but soon as i remb i'l post them!!!

by **gaz31** » Mon Jul 21, 2003 11:40 pm

LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL
YOU WANNA LAUGH BOYS GO ONTO WWW.MINICLIPS.COM
AND WATCH"DANCING BUSH" AND OTHERS, I LAUGHED MY RUDDY HEAD OFF.............

by **supersub** » Mon Jul 21, 2003 11:52 pm

manu trying to buy players this summer.Know theirs a joke.
manu chief executive claiming players lack ambition if they don't join mu,## ## Ronaldinho has played in and won a world cup;like he gives a s##t about some cold,rainy,drab sh**hole of a place mancville.Know theirs another joke.
..............full of them tonight...................

by **gaz31** » Tue Jul 22, 2003 12:11 am

MY MISSUS SAID TO ME THE OTHER DAY "YOU THINK MORE OF LIVERPOOL FOOTBALL CLUB THAN YOU DO OF ME"

I SAID "I THINK MORE OF EVERTON THAN I DO OF YOU"
LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL

by **supersub** » Thu Aug 07, 2003 11:28 pm

Here's a joke,you might have heard it before but what the heck!

Three scousers and three mancs are travelling by train to a football match in London.
At the station,the three mancs each buy a ticket and watch as the three scousers buy just one ticket between them.

"How are the three of you going to travel on only one ticket?" asks one of the mancs.
"Watch and learn",answers one of the scousers.

They all board the train.The mancs take their respective seats but all three scousers cram into the toilet and close the door behind them.

Shortly after the train has departed,the conductor arrives to collect the tickets.
He knocks on the toilet door and says,"Tickets please".The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand.The conductor takes it and moves on.

The mancs are mightily impressed by this,so after the game,they decide to copy the scousers on the return trip and save money.

When they get to the station,they buy a single ticket for the return trip...To their astonishment,the scousers don't buy a ticket at all !!!

"How are you going to travel without a ticket?" asks one perplexed mancunian.
"Watch and learn..." says one scouser.

When they board the train the three mancs cram into a toilet and soon after the three scousers pile into another nearby.
The train departs.

Shortly afterwards,one of the scousers leaves the toilet and sneaks across to the toilet where the mancs are hiding.
He knocks on the door and says,"Tickets please

by **the_welsh_tex** » Mon Aug 25, 2003 11:27 am

Paddy and murphy are walking past a graveyard,as they are walking paddy comes to a halt and says to murphy,"f##king hell murphy,look at him there he was 504 when he died!",
Murphy asks paddy "whats his name?",
Paddy replies,"MILES FROM DUBLIN".

by **supersub** » Sat Oct 04, 2003 10:46 pm

Posh and Becks are sitting in front of the television watching the six o'clock news.The main story is a man threatening to jump off the Clifton Suspension Bridge onto the busy road below.
Posh turns toBecks and says:"David,I bet you £5,000 that he jumps!" to which Beckham replies "£5,000 ? Done ! I bet he doesn't."
So they shake hands on the bet and continue watching.
Sure enough,the man jumps and hits the road below with a loud thud.
Beckham takes £5,000 out of his back pocket and hands it to Posh.
However,she refuses."I can't take your money,David,"she says.
"The truth is,I was cheating.I saw the five o'clock news,so I knew he was going to jump."
"No,babe,fair's fair," says David. "That money is yours fair and square Iwas cheating just as you were.I saw the five o'clock news,too.
I just didn't think he would do it again."

by **mistyred** » Sat Oct 04, 2003 11:51 pm

Englishman Irishman and Scotishman are stranded on a desert
island when they are captured by natives,The natives say"now we have caught you how would you like to die?".

By bieng boiled or skined alive and made into a canoo or death by chum chum?"Whats that askes the englishman"The native replies"Bieng *ucked in the *rse untill your dead"The scotman says *uck bieng boiled or skined and made into a canoo i wana die by chum chum,"so the native says ok!But you can have one thing of choice before you die!"scotman says i want a bottle of whisky"so after he drinks the whisky hes *ucked in the a#se untill hes dead."then the native askes the irish man what about you?" he replies death by chum chum and a box of fags!so he smokes them and gets *ucked in the *rse till hes dead.
The last man standing is the Englishman man who is asked"And what about you what do you want?"he thinks to himself"*hit i dont wanna get *ucked in the *rse untill i dead"so he says"Death by bieng skinned alive and made into a canoo and a fork!,With that the Englishman runs into the sea stabbing himself in the chest screaming "YOU AINT MAKING ME INTO A *UKING CANOO!!!.

by **cheesecakery** » Mon Oct 06, 2003 10:42 am

Gerald Houwlier

by **cheesecakery** » Wed Oct 15, 2003 1:57 pm

A lesbian goes to a gynecologist and the gynecologist says "I must say, this is the cleanest pussy I've seen in ages."
"Thanks," said the lesbian. "I have a woman in 4 times a week."

by **Cool Hand Luke** » Thu Nov 20, 2003 3:06 pm

It's 1999/2000 season and Man Utd and Arsenal have just finished there match, the players are warming down and the managers are talking:

Wenger: Foriegn players are more intelligent than british players.

Ferguson: How do you work that one out?

Wenger: Dennis(he calls over Dennis Bergkamp), I want to ask you a question, YOUR FATHERS SON IS NOT YOUR BROTHER, WHO IS HE?,

Bergkamp: Thats easy, it's me,(he walks off)

Ferguson: David,(he calls over David Beckham), I want to ask you a question, YOUR FATHERS SON IS NOT YOUR BROTHER, WHO IS HE?,

Beckham: Thats a tough one boss.

Ferguson: O.K tell me tomorrow.

That night Beckham is wrecking his brain trying to figure it out but he can't, so he asks Victoria, but she dosen't know it obviously, so in the end he ends up phoning Jaap Stam:

Stam: Hello

Beckham: Hello Jaap, I wanted to ask you a question, YOUR FATHERS SON IS NOT YOUR BROTHER, WHO IS HE?,

Stam: Thats easy, it's me,

Beckham: Thanks Jaap!

The next day in training an exicited David Beckham approaches Alex Ferguson:

Beckham: Boss,I know the answer to the riddle.

Ferguson: Who is it?

Beckham: Jaap Stam!

Ferguson: No you idiot, its Dennis Bergkamp!!!

by **big al** » Thu Nov 20, 2003 5:02 pm

Less of the Irish jokes please I am deeply offended. Now I away to see what it means.

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