Liverpool FC Forum

[Pablo_Escobar]

Colorado Springs: A guy walked into a little corner store with a shot gun and demanded all the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but he refused and said "Because I don't believe you are over 21." The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him because he didn't believe him. At this point the robber took his drivers license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over, and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and he put the scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store with his loot. The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of the robber that he got off the license. They arrested the robber two hours later.

Classic, classic

Keep'em coming Dawson, it's great to read how some people are stupid

[dawson99]

k, couple more to keep u going

Oklahoma City: Dennis Newton was on trial for the armed robbery of a convenience store in a district court when he fired his lawyer. Assistant district attorney Larry Jones said Newton, 47, was doing a fair job of defending himself until the store manager testified that Newton was the robber. Newton jumped up, accused the woman of lying and then said, "I should of blown your (expletive) head off." The defendant paused, then quickly added, "if I'd been the one that was there." The jury took 20 minutes to convict Newton and recommended a 30-year sentence.

[dawson99]

A true story out of San Francisco: A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the branch and wrote "this iz a stikkup. Put all your muny in this bag." While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police before he reached the teller window. So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street to Wells Fargo. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller. She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he was not the brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America. Looking somewhat defeated, the man said "OK" and left. The Wells Fargo teller then called the police who arrested the man a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America.

[Woollyback]

class

[Lando_Griffin]

lando, all your jokes are about women??

me thinks there is some underlying problem your not telling us

were you raped by a butch dyke or something?

Thats a true story!!!!

And no, I wasn't raped by a butch dyke. I was, however, savaged by an Avon lady!!!!!  

[Lando_Griffin]

Besides, while I realise that not all women are jibbering, shopping-obsessed, dippy, walking dimwits, there are exceptions. I merely point out the flaws in the feminine side of humanity to avoid these exceptions getting big heads!!!!!

[Woollyback]

lando, all your jokes are about women??

me thinks there is some underlying problem your not telling us

were you raped by a butch dyke or something?

Thats a true story!!!!

And no, I wasn't raped by a butch dyke. I was, however, savaged by an Avon lady!!!!!  

could've been worse, you could've been savaged by the ann  summers lady and woken up with a peephole bra and a very, very sore bottom

[Judge]

lando, all your jokes are about women??

me thinks there is some underlying problem your not telling us

were you raped by a butch dyke or something?

Thats a true story!!!!

And no, I wasn't raped by a butch dyke. I was, however, savaged by an Avon lady!!!!!  

could've been worse, you could've been savaged by the ann  summers lady and woken up with a peephole bra and a very, very sore bottom

woolly, with landoboy, what do you mean about ''couldve woken up....sore....etc''

he does that everyday 

[116-1104673748]

A cruise ship has crashed due to the negligence of the crew.The case was dropped because all the witnesses were stuck on an island 100 miles away from the court.

[Lando_Griffin]

lando, all your jokes are about women??

me thinks there is some underlying problem your not telling us

were you raped by a butch dyke or something?

Thats a true story!!!!

And no, I wasn't raped by a butch dyke. I was, however, savaged by an Avon lady!!!!!  

could've been worse, you could've been savaged by the ann  summers lady and woken up with a peephole bra and a very, very sore bottom

woolly, with landoboy, what do you mean about ''couldve woken up....sore....etc''

he does that everyday 

Judge, thats our secret, you kiss-and-teller!!!!!    

[Judge]

your a bit hopeful lando with yer statements  

see raflad or pablo escobar

[Lando_Griffin]

No thanks. They'd probably believe it and send me a bunch of flowers and a box of milk tray!!!!!

[Judge]

i see youve eaten the chocolates already

[Lando_Griffin]

What!?! They were tasty....you'd have done the same!!!!! Thank God there was no fudge, though!!!!!

[Judge]

aye, and no chutney aswell!!!!!