Liverpool FC Forum

[Judge]

shoutin ''Butano'' loudly in turin,

fuc'king hell - embarrassing or what

thats nothing, i shouted ''bum me'' out loud in my gay local, and now my ar'se is sore, good nite tho'

too much info lee 

[andy_g]

shoutin ''BUTANO'' loudly in turin, when it means gas, not win

fuc'king hell - embarrassing or what

judge, you're a winner, er i mean a butano-er.

[Woollyback]

Woof might be a trifle embarrassed to discover he spelt embarrassing wrong on the thread title

[Judge]

you know when one of those sneaky little farts takes you by suprise? well it did. We were sat on plastic chairs too, I bet they could hear it 3 mile mile away - dohh! 

The real embarrasment is when they can smell it 3 miles away.

noris mcwhirters spirit at a sceance said that lee j holds the record for a fa'rt that can be smelt some 4.5 miles away, which beats that smelly plant held at the botanical gardens in London 

[demogorgon]

I'll give you my joint top three.  In no particular order.  You can have a poll or somthing later....

1)  Satisfied a very lucky lady.  Woke up, asked her where the the bathroom was, and ultimately met her very unlucky flatmate!  (Duvets, toilet seats-all the same!)

1) Was with a girl.  Her parents do news for the deaf over here.  Forgot her neighbours didn't on her front door-step.

1) My taxi arrived.  I was 'as the day I born' on top of a human version of Everest!  She was his next door neighbour!  (I live in a small town)

[Judge]

Ive just had an embarrasing moment. Just got back from our weekly production meeting rather red ars'ed. ******'ged in a room with 15 gay men, 6 trannys, the rest just normal curious people   and one of the production managers was talking about a hand job scheduled for early next week, and you know when one of those sneaky little farts takes you by suprise? well it did, shot sperm everywhere. We were sat on plastic chairs too, I bet they could hear it 3 mile mile away - dohh! 

never mind lee 

[112-1077774096]

about 5 years ago i thought it would be funny to telephone my mate and f@rt down the phone. i picked up the phone in work and called him, held the phone to my sphincter and let rip, i then proceeded to actually sh!t in my pants, we are not even talking wet f@rt here. i had to go home and shower and get changed.

i feel better for getting that off my chest   

[Judge]

about 5 years ago i thought it would be funny to telephone my mate and f@rt down the phone. i picked up the phone in work and called him, held the phone to my sphincter and let rip, i then proceeded to actually sh!t in my pants, we are not even talking wet f@rt here. i had to go home and shower and get changed.

i feel better for getting that off my chest   

off yer chest, you mean outta the ar'se   

nice one peewee

[112-1077774096]

there was no warning, it wasnt even preceeded by a f@rt   

[Judge]

peewee, either you have had serious bowel trouble or yer ar'se is slack   , i'd opt for bowel trouble, otherwise its a trip to the blue oyster club for you mate

[84-1106852058]

about 5 years ago i thought it would be funny to telephone my mate and f@rt down the phone. i picked up the phone in work and called him, held the phone to my sphincter and let rip, i then proceeded to actually sh!t in my pants, we are not even talking wet f@rt here. i had to go home and shower and get changed.

i feel better for getting that off my chest   

A Classic

How did it get on your chest?  

[woof woof !]

about 5 years ago i thought it would be funny to telephone my mate and f@rt down the phone. i picked up the phone in work and called him, held the phone to my sphincter and let rip, i then proceeded to actually sh!t in my pants, we are not even talking wet f@rt here. i had to go home and shower and get changed.

i feel better for getting that off my chest   

      

A lesson to us all next time yer put yer ar'se on the phone remember to drop yer pants first .

[Woollyback]

I once rang my mate Duncan up and when he answered the phone I put on my best dirty-old-man voive and said "what colour knickers are you wearing?"

I felt a right tit when the bloke on the phone turned out to be Dunc's dad   

[RED BEERGOGGLES]

This incident happened  years ago  I was taking the elevator up to the top of the tower restaurant, on upon entering the lift  I pushed the button for the top floor ,and I made a comment to my girlfriend how much I hated lifts .
The screams were deafening I turned to find around five people huddled in the corner of the elevator shaking and sobbing uncontrollably ,then a well dressed man shook his head in disbelief at me and said with real menace "three fu*king years its taken me to get these people to face their fears and you have to pick this fu*cking day for a meal ".
My girl just tutted and proclaimed "it could only happen to you"
Needless to say the meal was swift and so too my entrance

[Dom1]

eh he he he he he he heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee ehehehe