Liverpool FC Forum

[zarababe]

Dammit I was hoping there would be something a bit more risque to your story zara 

.. I  bet you did   

[zarababe]

On a recent holiday in spain I went down to a local doctors to see about what could be a slight hernia problem. I had to hang about for a couple of hours but it was worth it . Dr Alicia Berral Gomez is going to be my next wife ,she's georgeos and I'm instantly in love ,with her body ..........I'll consider her mind later . In her accented broken english and scented breath she tell me to take off my shorts and lie down.So there I am watching her pull on a pair of latex gloves ,her white doctors coat is partially open revealing fantastic breasts and when she crosses her gorgeous tanned legs I decide I better start thinking very hard about a brick wall . i thought she would just put her hand inside my sloggis and feel for the hernia but to my suprise (and secret delight ) she yanks them down and feels one groin and then the other with one hand whilst with the other she gently cradles my nuts .    At this point the forbidden and unforgiving occurs,to my embarrasment (I was still trying to hang on to the fading shreds of a brick wall ) the thruster buster is out of control and I've got a pole so long you could fly a flag from it . I yanked up my sloggis but that only made me look as though I was impersonating an indian wigwam .Happily she saw the funny side and quickly finished the examination.

As I left I asked (with fingers crossed ) if I needed to see her again,she said "only if you want something" ,I knew she didn't mean what I wanted her to mean but all the same I asked "In that case can I come back later today ? "
She gave me a great smile and shut the door in my face .  I know she loves me         

Woof.. flying flags ay .. 

[Scottbot]

my mates most embarassing is good, he pulled some american bird in a club in hong kong, she was a director for nike. anyway as they were dancing he did a wet f@rt, but being drunk he forgot about it.
anyway he scored and was invited back to her hotel, 5 star. when they get to the room mark thought he would entice her by doing a saucy dance and he put some music on. he starts to do a strip, takes off his shirt then as an added bonus he turns away from her, and bends over whilst dropping his jeans. next thing he heard with an american accent "mark, you sh!t your pants".

he still boned her, good lad   

Quality

[Woollyback]

Woof I've worked out what you do whilst things are quiet down the D&G - it's you who writes all the stories in bongo mags

[woof woof !]

Woof I've worked out what you do whilst things are quiet down the D&G - it's you who writes all the stories in bongo mags

Well I once did a gig with the "Bongo" Dog Do Dah Band .   

[Roger Red Hat]

Getting the wrong person seems to be a popular one, I did the same thing at an 18th Birthday party. My best mates wife loved a good prank so I arrived at the party, looking around for my pal and spots the back of what looked like my mates wife and been a freindly sort of lad i crept up behing her put one arm up her blouse and with one hand, un clipped her bra strap!! (a trick I mastered at college!!)

I said "T!TS OUT!"

I apologised but it didnt stop her fella smacking me around the gents toilets later that night!

[zarababe]

OMG Lee that's shockin.. ....... ......

[stmichael]

At Uni once, I'd been out with mates, and had a little too much to drink, so wasn't thinking too clearly. I went to my room and stripped off to go to sleep. Just as I was falling asleep, I thought I heard someone ring the doorbell. Now, it was 2 or 3 in the morning, but I was used to being woken up by ohter people in halls, but couldn't be bothered to get properly dressed to let people in, so just wrapped a towel around my waist. After opening the door, I took a step outside incase someone had fallen over the steps in the dark -only to hear the door slam closed behind me, trapping the towel. I couldn't ring the bell as that would wake everyone up to see me stood there buck-naked, and there's about 400 people in the halls, so I decided to sneak around the back.

It would only take 10 mins to get around the back, and hopefully I could find a kitchen window open to get back into the building. Unfortunately, I bumped into a group of girls I knew on the way back - all of whom had video phones on them. I was still quite drunk, so even managed to climb in the wrong kitchen window and bump into yet another grouup of girls.

Nightmare 

[84-1106852058]

My mates wife was telling me a cracker.A few yearsago my mates hair was really long and his mrs was always going on at him to get it cut.Not happy for him to go to any old barbers,she arranged for him to go to the fancy SALON she used.Clark the maestro with the scissors had agreed to stay behind to give him the style SHE had decided on.Billy who new what was best for him,turned up at the alloted hour and went home with a nice new hairstyle.When he got home his wife was delighted,that looks great that love,you look really smart.Thats the last time Igo there he said,Ididnt know they washed it and blow dry it.They do that everywhere she said.Yeah but Ihad a few pints and couldnt keep my balance on that chair.
Billy had only ever been in the old fashioned barbers and the only thing you got there was a haircut,and something for the weekend.When the hairdresser said lets get that hair washed Billy kneeled up on the chair over the sink the hairdresser didnt have the heart to tell him the chair reclined.Poor Billy in a shop window oblivious to people walking past who must have been pi..ing themseves.He was right about one thing though he never went back.nor did his wife who was to embarrased

[Woollyback]

At Uni once, I'd been out with mates, and had a little too much to drink, so wasn't thinking too clearly. I went to my room and stripped off to go to sleep. Just as I was falling asleep, I thought I heard someone ring the doorbell. Now, it was 2 or 3 in the morning, but I was used to being woken up by ohter people in halls, but couldn't be bothered to get properly dressed to let people in, so just wrapped a towel around my waist. After opening the door, I took a step outside incase someone had fallen over the steps in the dark -only to hear the door slam closed behind me, trapping the towel. I couldn't ring the bell as that would wake everyone up to see me stood there buck-naked, and there's about 400 people in the halls, so I decided to sneak around the back.

It would only take 10 mins to get around the back, and hopefully I could find a kitchen window open to get back into the building. Unfortunately, I bumped into a group of girls I knew on the way back - all of whom had video phones on them. I was still quite drunk, so even managed to climb in the wrong kitchen window and bump into yet another grouup of girls.

Nightmare 

FLASHER!!   

[Roger Red Hat]

Ive just had an embarrasing moment. Just got back from our weekly production meeting rather red faced. Sat in a room with 15 people, 6 directors, the rest just normal people   and one of the production managers was talking about a job scheduled for early next week, and you know when one of those sneaky little farts takes you by suprise? well it did. We were sat on plastic chairs too, I bet they could hear it 3 mile mile away - dohh! 

[hawkmoon269]

Ive just had an embarrasing moment. Just got back from our weekly production meeting rather red faced. Sat in a room with 15 people, 6 directors, the rest just normal people   and one of the production managers was talking about a job scheduled for early next week, and you know when one of those sneaky little farts takes you by suprise? well it did. We were sat on plastic chairs too, I bet they could hear it 3 mile mile away - dohh! 

Yeah...I heard you from here!

[woof woof !]

you know when one of those sneaky little farts takes you by suprise? well it did. We were sat on plastic chairs too, I bet they could hear it 3 mile mile away - dohh! 

The real embarrasment is when they can smell it 3 miles away.

[Judge]

shoutin ''BUTANO'' loudly in turin, when it means gas, not win

fuc'king hell - embarrassing or what

[Roger Red Hat]

shoutin ''BUM BOY'' loudly in turin,

fuc'king hell - embarrassing or what

no, just stoopid!