Liverpool FC Forum

[Judge]

we once went to Bolton Abbey near Burnsall when we were kids. We cycled there, and there was about 20 or us.

Anyway, about an hour into the trip we went from the river sider to the fields to walk around, when one the girls (called Nina) decided to stroke a solitary donkey.

well, its dick shot out like a ballistic missile and touched the floor, then it gave out a bellowing ee-orr, and began to chase around the field, with its dick dragging along the grass. poor donkey.

of course we all laughed, but her boyfriend wasnt pleased, as he said he could never compete with the size of the donkey  

[112-1077774096]

Peewee you mention Curbie, remember kick the can I mean what kind of a game was that kickin an old battered coke can

our street was rough, we used to play kick the cat     

[Judge]

Peewee you mention Curbie, remember kick the can I mean what kind of a game was that kickin an old battered coke can

our street was rough, we used to play kick the cat     

trouble is that kids today play kick the old battered granny 

[LFC #1]

I cant remember the girls first name but the family name was lang. my first kiss, snog and breast play were in the field opposite lister drive baths, we were both 9 and went at it in the long grass (she had breasts at aged 9, fantastic).

She must have been a right fat bitch, if she had tads at aged 9.

[Judge]

it was his sister  

[Ciggy]

Knock down ginger,   Knock on the door and run away, duno what ginger had to do with it though 

[andy_g]

first bike (after the tricycle) was a raleigh jeep. it weighed a ton and i could never keep up with my mates on their racers or do any of the cross country stuff like my mates with their grifters and strikers. it was still faster than a tomohawk though.   i was sooooo made up when i finally got myself a raleigh medale for my paper round.

first kissy kissy with moira jones aged 9 (and no - this wasn't last week you funny feckers. we were both aged 9 and its was years ago). i was totally in love with her.

first proper tonguey snog with dawn horobin aged 15 (late developer and all that). she dumped me after 4 days but still said i was a good kisser.

first titty rub with julie taylor aged 16 (her 15). had a hard on for a week.

our school had a pond by the lads playground (the girls were in another playground - caged in inside the netball courts). if it was your birthday you got the day off because you'd get chucked in the pond and have to go home. i got suspended from school for breaking simon stone's nose but still took my maths o-level a year early.

i was a (mainly) top level pupil but got to hang around with the bad gang because i was bigger than the hardest lad in school, would go and smoke and spit with them at breaks, and when we had to take our turn to stand in the corner round the back of the swimming pool boiler house and get layed into by the rest i'd fight back the hardest. we used to put drops of olbas oil in our eyes for a laugh.

when i was 8 years old my best friend dared me to hit him over the head with a hammer. he spent 3 days in hospital and i got the beating of my life.

[Judge]

Knock down ginger,   Knock on the door and run away, duno what ginger had to do with it though 

knock down ginger, means to knock on a door etc


have you ever tried to find out what ginger meant 

[Garymac]

Also id just like to say that bullying should never be tolerated in school and i can give a valid reason why, and why all of you should tell all children not to do it, Here is my story on why not to bully.

When in juniors i am ashamed to admit it but i did sort of bully someone "there was a gang of us, so im not taking all the blame" anyway as you know there was always a smelly kid in School, well i participated in bullying her but to be fair she ended up  going to the headmaster and we all got into a whole heap of sh!t, but thats not my point. After i left Juniors i never saw Smelly Vicky again as we went to seperate Senior schools, so about 3 years ago (9 years later) me and me mate was sitting in ares when he gets a call off this bird asking him to go round hers, he says his with his mate (ME) but she also had a mate there so i thought get in! lets go round now, so we walk round, knock on the house and she invites us in and says Gary and Craig this is me mate VICKY, well my heart just sank, but i thought it, she might not know its me and the state im in a fu*k is a fu*k so me mate went out in the kitchen and im left in the Living room with Vicky, its silent for about 30 seconds and i finally pluck up the courage to say something but she beats me to it and says "So what have you been upto since you and ye mates stpped bullying me" I felt like Sh!t, she had got her own back you better believe me.

The moral of the story......Dont bully the smelly kid in school, it could f*ck you up for your hole in later life.

And Andy how hard did spittin make you look in school!!!

Did anyone else as well used to tack the things out of the Vicks things when you had the flu and rub them on peoples eyes that was funny true, made people look like they was crying like bitc*es!

[andy_g]

spitting was the big one, mate - and the way you spat said a lot about you. whether you were one of the really cool ones who could do the squirty thing through their front teeth, or the bruiser who's just drag up a big greeny.

[Garymac]

Yeah i was a squirty one threw the teeth, ive got a bad set of nashers on me so i could fire in all directions!! I wasnt cool by any mean though, just thought it 

[Woollyback]

we used to play a game of ralio (spelling?) in the summer, it was a bit like a monster version of hide & seek but there'd be about 50 of us play it. we'd spend an entire summer holiday evening playing, with lads roaming all over town for hours on end to avoid getting caught, f*ckin brilliant it was, like a proper adventure   i know the mind plays tricks on the memory but it seemed like the entire summer holidays would be red hot and sunny and you could play out till late and it was still warm

we also used to set fire to anything we could, usually all the gorse bushes in the fields on the edge of town. they used to go up a treat when it was dry, when the fire brigade turned up we used to make up all theses stories about how we saw who started it and they were hiding in this house or that house etc, with hindsight it was so obviously us who'd started it but we were angelic-faced little buggers and could get away with murder 

the maddest we ever did was rob a rowing boat and rowed out to a big freighter that had been mothballed and moored up in the harbour, we managed to get on board and trashed all the cabins etc, then let off one of those self-inflating life-rafts inside. we took all the emergency flares form it and went back to shore, then let them off from this disused quarry, next thing we knew was it was on the news that north wales coastguard and the RAF had started a full-scale air and sea search of the area after reports of distress flares being seen coming from the direction of the cliffs. i was about 15 at the time and god i shat myself every time the doorbell went for about a month thinking there'd be a rozzer coming to collar me   

[Ciggy]

Tracey Marlow omg that girl had a bad bad B.O. prob, she stunk for the whole 5 years in the seniors, there was just no need, the class stunk the minute you walked in and PE, FFS she reminded me of Carrie.
I was never a bully, I got bullyed meself but only through jealousy cause I had more than them

[Judge]

Also id just like to say that bullying should never be tolerated in school and i can give a valid reason why, and why all of you should tell all children not to do it, Here is my story on why not to bully.

When in juniors i am ashamed to admit it but i did sort of bully someone "there was a gang of us, so im not taking all the blame" anyway as you know there was always a smelly kid in School, well i participated in bullying her but to be fair she ended up  going to the headmaster and we all got into a whole heap of sh!t, but thats not my point. After i left Juniors i never saw Smelly Vicky again as we went to seperate Senior schools, so about 3 years ago (9 years later) me and me mate was sitting in ares when he gets a call off this bird asking him to go round hers, he says his with his mate (ME) but she also had a mate there so i thought get in! lets go round now, so we walk round, knock on the house and she invites us in and says Gary and Craig this is me mate VICKY, well my heart just sank, but i thought it, she might not know its me and the state im in a fu*k is a fu*k so me mate went out in the kitchen and im left in the Living room with Vicky, its silent for about 30 seconds and i finally pluck up the courage to say something but she beats me to it and says "So what have you been upto since you and ye mates stpped bullying me" I felt like Sh!t, she had got her own back you better believe me.

The moral of the story......Dont bully the smelly kid in school, it could f*ck you up for your hole in later life.

And Andy how hard did spittin make you look in school!!!

Did anyone else as well used to tack the things out of the Vicks things when you had the flu and rub them on peoples eyes that was funny true, made people look like they was crying like bitc*es!

i remember for 6yrs i was bullied by this lad at school. Eventually i told my dad about it, and he said the teachers would do nowt, and that im entitled to defend myself.

so the next day, he came to bully me again, and without word, i swung an almighty fist towards his nose, to which it burst into showers of red blood. by this time, i'd seen red myself, and continued to thump the fuck out of him.

needless to say, i never had a bully problem again 

however, dont think that violence sorts everything out kids, but you can defend yourself. The best course of action though today is to tell someone

[Roger Red Hat]

A prank we used to do on an evening was spray the contents of a cheap can of hairspray up a drain pipe and light the bottom of it. Flames & smoke pumping out the gutter. Then there was early November time when fireworks became available. Bangers were fun providing you didn't get hold of one when it went off. we stuck one in some poor tw@ts parka hood, knocked him off his feet and gave hm and headache.
The most regretful thing I ever did as a kid was burn a church down. Now I didn't start it but I was there. We had 2 churches in our area the main one is a big grand gothic style church, the second one WAS a small hut like affair. We had crawled in through an open window and we we're having a right laff. we'd set off 2 fire extinguisers and tossed around a whole pile of hymn books, when Jimmy decided to light a fire. Well it got bigger and bigger and bigger then it was 'oh fuck, leg it!'. We scarpered. Next day we didn't think any different but it never re-opened as a church. they knocked it down and someone built a house on the land. oops.

anyone remember tippex thinners? many a maths lesson high as a kite on that stuff.