Liverpool FC Forum

[fivecups]

John 'Fergie' MacDonald rocks!

[andy_g]

what's the rock like?

[dawson99]

the rock?... meh

[aCe']

dawson my man... sorry to barge in like this on your little welcome back party..
have a little joke and the jokes thread is too far for me in my current state so ill just put it here…

A man, a cat, and an ostrich walk into a bar. They sit down and the man offers to buy a round of beer. "Sure," says the cat, "That'd be nice but you know I'm not buying you one in return."

"Fine," says the man and goes to buy three beers. They drink and talk for a while until they finish their beer and then the ostrich asks if they'd like another. "Please," says the cat, "But there's no way I'm gonna pay for any later on."

The ostrich orders three beers and they sit and drink and talk for a bit longer. When the time for the next time comes around the man and the ostrich both look at the cat expectantly.

"No way," says the cat. "I made it damn clear that I'm not paying for any beer...you want more, you'll have to pay."

Sighing, the man gets up and asks for three more beers. The bartender, who is obviously confused asks the man, "What's going on?"

"Well," says the man, "I found an old lamp a few years back and I gave it a rub and this genie comes out, says he'll give me anything I wish for. But I'm not sure he really understood...I asked for a tall bird with a tight pussy."

[Benny The Noon]

[aCe']

hey there... Doesnt seem like you've been around the forum for long..

Anyways heres a true story for you... We once had a member called GYBS yea, you remind of him for some reason but anyways..

Poor guy turned out his parents were siblings.. To be honest it went a long way to explaining why he was such a miserable [email]tw@t...[/email]

[dawson99]

come on now, this thread is a thread for fun... and if ace posted a joke, I too shall post a joke, a worse joke.. if possible

Why are camping holidays always so exciting?

-Because all the action is in tents!!!

[Benny The Noon]

[Benny The Noon]

come on now, this thread is a thread for fun... and if ace posted a joke, I too shall post a joke, a worse joke.. if possible

Why are camping holidays always so exciting?

-Because all the action is in tents!!!

That was that bad it you have to laugh

[fivecups]

ALL JOKES SHOULD BE SCOTIFIED FOR THIS THREAD.

[Emerald Red]

Hope the sheep were enjoyable.

[aCe']

Construction worker on the 5th floor of a building needed a handsaw. So he spots another worker on the ground floor and yells down to him, but he can't hear him. So the worker on the 5th floor tries sign language. He pointed to his eye meaning "I", pointed to his knee meaning "need", then moved his hand back and forth in a hand saw motion. The man on the ground floor nods his head, pulls down his pants, whips out his chop and starts masturbating. The worker on 5th floor gets so off he runs down to the ground floor and says, "What the is your problem!!! I said I needed a hand saw!". The other guy says, "I knew that! I was just trying to tell you - I'm coming!"

[dawson99]

Hope the sheep were enjoyable.

thats wales!!!

Scottish are drunks
Welsh sh@g sheep
Irish are stoopid, don't you know your stuff?


ok, scottified joke:

scotland Yard have caught an Irishman planting a bomb in London.

They arrested him whilst he was watering it.

 

[fivecups]

Construction worker on the 5th floor of a building needed a handsaw. So he spots another worker on the ground floor and yells down to him, but he can't hear him. So the worker on the 5th floor tries sign language. He pointed to his eye meaning "I", pointed to his knee meaning "need", then moved his hand back and forth in a hand saw motion. The man on the ground floor nods his head, pulls down his pants, whips out his chop and starts masturbating. The worker on 5th floor gets so off he runs down to the ground floor and says, "What the is your problem!!! I said I needed a hand saw!". The other guy says, "I knew that! I was just trying to tell you - I'm coming!"

   

Magic.

[aCe']

At an auction in Glasgow a wealthy American announced that he had lost his wallet containing £10,000 and would give a reward of £100 to the person who found it.
From the back of the hall a Scottish voice shouted, "I'll give £150!"