Liverpool FC Forum

[Effes]

What I find shameful is the "apparent" lack of understanding of the Police.

Heard a few things on the radio where the Police have basically laughed at this.

[GRAHAM01]

when i was growing up i use to live around the corner from my auntie and uncle and i use to have to go round there to play when my parents went out and mthe things i saw will live with me for ever

my uncle bless him was only a small man and my aunt was a big old girl and when ever i was there she would always be-little him and she would always be hitting him, never with her hands but with anything else she had to hand, the worst time i saw was with a frying pan she just kept hitting him over the head over and over again the poor bloke was just curled up in a ball in the corner of the room

but he never did anything about it for years and years until he left her, i have seen him a few times over the years but not much and he still now looks a broken man and is so out of it makes me wonder if she didn't give him brain damage?

the trouble is (as many have said) the fear of what people will think of them, it sad really

[Bam]

She didn't beat me up, because she couldn't, but she threw dishes to me or what she found at that moment of rage.

That is exactly what my mum used to do, the nearest object that wasnt bolted down would be launched at me in a fit of anger. The memories from the stileto incident are with me today.

My dad got it worse one time, she was so fed up with his 'lasyness' sitting infront of the TV all day why she was doing the housework. Anyway she was ironing and asked him a question, he grunted in reply and this fecked her off so she put the iron on his hand and burnt him

[Bam]

Talking about female violence, I saw a big Aboriginal dude walking around the other day. Both his arms must of had at least twenty raised scares running paralell up both arms. He looks a nasty fecker and I said to me mate like 'feck me he's been in the wars, likes a fight does he ?' She went Na, thats the workings of the wome/an up here. They slash their fellas up 

[zarababe]

http://couples-counselling.suite101.com/article.cfm/emotional_physical_husband_abuse

http://marriage.families.com/blog....husband



This is a real problem - there is this site which might be helpful.

[Reg]

Lakes and everyone else, any abuse within a relationship is an extremely serious issue be it wife, husband or child abuse.

The scariest aspect is that social services are extremely incompetent and ill-prepared to recognise, understand and deal with it.

My sister fosters extreme cases of child abuse victims down in London, she´s on permenent 1 hour notice to take kids thought to be in danger of their lives. The point is, social services have sent women to discuss, interview and plan situations with my sister who 1. Havent spoken english, 2 Have been on their first day in the job from university and were told 'dont worry you´ll pick it up as you go along' and 3. Had no training in what is actually required. 

So bobbies and mates can laugh, wives/husbands are trapped in relationships for financial reasons and kids are unable to appeal for help.

So not only are there not departments with help lines for these husbands (in this case) to turn to, but the people who should be offering these services are the least suitable and competent to be doing it in the first place.

Councils waste so much money, but if it could be directed to where it is most needed and effectively spent, solutions would exist.

[The Good Yank]

I'm not going to go into much detail, I'll just say, it's difficult to come forward and the only reason I did was because I left bruises around my wife's wrists when I restrained her with one hand and phoned the police with the other.  It turns out that the times that she had gotten physical was just short of three months after the birth of our children, like clockwork.  She had pretty bad post partum depression and it set her off.  She's done counseling and there haven't been any signs of physical abuse for about four years now. 

Now if only there was a cure for her Italian Hot-headedness

[lakes10]

Well Lakes, I can speak from experience, (not me being abused), but I saw it in the police a few times. many domestic disputes would involve the neighbour or the wife calling and we would arrive with the perception it was the guy doing the abusing 100% of the time.

I learned very quickly that some guys were scared, not of being arrested but scared of the whole situation and it would be the wife ranting and raving, some women would start the problem then call the police knowing we would side with them. it got to the point where i would ask both if they felt safe staying there and also told them (when i thought it was the wife causing the problem) that if I had to come back one would be arrested for breach of the peace, then I would look at the wife and say "and it wont necessarily be him".

on one occasion the woman was rabid and the bloke was sitting in the chair eating his tea, she was the abuser mate and she came at me with a knife, it was one of only two times I hit a woman (both on duty and both unavoidable).

Not enough men make the complaint as it emasculates them in their opinion, but we know it goes on, we know to the extent of murder sometimes

you are so right.
i have been at work today and as this was on my mind i talked about it, at the end of the class 2 men come up to me and asked from, its hard to see them cry.

some feel that just as many men are abused as women just they dont report it as it makes them feel less of a man.

[lakes10]

got to say thanks to all of you for your posts on this.

[GYBS]

good luck lakes and i hope you can find a way to help these guys - lots of respect to you and the guys

[Toffeehater]

Is leaving his "wife" not a option ?

[GYBS]

I expect its not that easy or simple mate

[Judge]

got to say thanks to all of you for your posts on this.

and those which were deleted - your welcome lakes

[lakes10]

Is leaving his "wife" not a option ?

wish it was, what tends to happen is that the wife tracks them down, this did happen the other week, the guy asked his mate if he could stay with him, that night his wife drove around till she found him , burnt out the car then tried to kick down the door. the police said they will look into the car thing but that was about it, since then she has tracked him down a few times, this would not happen if he was in a shelter and got the advice he needed.


in things like this what tends to happen it builds up over years, first they will start to tell you they dont like your friends, they they make it hard to go out with them, them they make things up about them, by that time your friends dont call you, then they start asking you why you tok so long at the shops, then the hits start coming, by this time you think its all your fault, you think that you can not leave her as it will hurt her, you start to her things like "you made me do that " after they hit you......and the man falls for it. it happens just the same to women.

they dont know they should leave as they start to think its the norm and they make the other preson angry and thats why they get hit.

[Lando_Griffin]

Any bint hit me, she'd be out the door quicker than a Chinaman's orgasm.

There really needs to be more awareness on this, as that would encourage more men to come forward. (And thus combat the emasculation aspect of it.)

There is no shame in a man seeking help for being hit by anyone - woman, man or child.