Liverpool FC Forum

[drummerphil]

A woman goes into a pet shop looking for a parrot. The assistant shows her a beautiful African Grey parrot.

“What about this one madam? A beautiful bird, and a bargain at £20”

“Why is it so cheap?” asks the woman

“Well, it used to live in a brothel and as a result it’s language is a bit fruity”

“Oh I don’t mind” said the woman, making her mind up…”I’m broad minded enough, and it’ll be a laugh having a profane parrot”. So she hands over the £20 and takes it home.

Once safely in his new home, the parrot looks around and squawks at the woman “F**k me, a new brothel and a new madam!”

“I’m not a madam and this is not a brothel!” scolds the woman, trying not to laugh.

A little later the woman’s two teenage daughters arrive home.

“Unf**king-believeable. A new brothel, a new madam, and now two new prostitutes” shouts the parrot when he sees them.

“Mum, tell your parrot to shut up” complain the girls, but they all see the funny side, and have a laugh at their new pet.

A short while later, the woman’s husband, Dave, comes home.

“In f**cking-credible, a new brothel, a new madam, new prostitutes, but the same old clients. How ya doin, Dave?”

[wrighty (not mark!)]

hahahahahhhaa!!!!!!!!!!!      

[wrighty (not mark!)]

Wats big, red, and eats rocks?

[liverpoolrich]

lol

[mistyred]

Whats pink and fluffy



















































































Pink Fluff  

[babu]

Yeah nice D-Phil.

I got this today in my mail and p!ssed myself :



How do blondes print word documents?

[babu]

[drummerphil]

lol

[ckay]

Had this yesterday!! I hope it doesn't offend!

A Somali arrives in Bradford as a new immigrant to the United Kingdom.
He  stops the first person he sees walking down the street and says,
"Thank  you Mr. Britain for letting me in this country!"

But the passer-by says "You are mistaken, I am Indian."

The man goes on and encounters another passer-by. "Thank you for having such a beautiful country here in Britain!" The person says, "I no British,  I Chinese."

The new arrival walks further, and the next person he sees he stops, shakes his hand and says, "Thank you for the wonderful Britain!"

That person puts up his hand and says, "I am from Poland, I am not British!"

He finally sees a nice lady and asks suspiciously, "Are you British ?"

She says, "No, I am from Pakistan!" So he is puzzled, and asks her,  "Where are all the British?"

The Pakistani lady looks at her watch, shrugs, and says...

"Probably at work."

[zarababe]

most probably on the dole in them parts 

[zarababe]

Nice one phil

[RAFABENITEZ]

joke - David MOYES

[zarababe]

Dunc too

[adamnbarrett]

What's brown and sticky?


























































A stick

[drummerphil]

gollum has just come out with a classic......

as we showed last season,we can win when faced with adversity.....we will win tonight......

pisser